Seagulls and snails.

I have two pet hates, that is seagulls and snails.
I hate them and loathe them and nothing else fails,
To get me so angry when snails eat my shoots,
Nothing is left but snail snot and roots!
The seagull he watches with that small beady eye,
Waiting to get me from way up in the sky.
Waits till my washing is dry and so clean.
Then splatt down it comes - you know what I mean!
I am sorry, I know, that their Gods creatures and all.
I am meant to be kind to such things that are small.
But, come 4 am when that squawking begins,
I honestly feel like throttling the damn things!
I've tried slug pellets and beer, even petroleum jelly,
But nothing quite gets them like the boot of my welly!!
Give me sweet, tiny puppies with cute fluffy tails,
Not greedy white gulls or horrid brown snails!!!!!!!

A November Tear

November, November the month we recall,
The soldiers, the sailors, the airmen- them all.
Those ones, who returned, came back well and good,
The others that died in the spot they had stood.
The child who’s forgotten her father’s blue eyes,
The mother who doesn’t know why she still cries.
The father stood bravely and wore his sons pride,
On his heart like a sleeve, that hung down by his side.
Listen to their silence it gets louder each year,
We weep for their sorrow a November tear.

Happy Birthday Adrian

Its been many years since I met up with you,

back then so fit, good looking - thats me not you!

Now come 3rd of March a pensioner you will be

old creaking bones and smelling of wee!

But fear not you are still my special man,

did you put me on that pension plan??

A bus pass I believe will come your way,

A special treat for your special day.

60 is the new 50 they say, so I'm told

but to me your past it and just - bloody old!

A party you will have with balloons and red jelly,

we don't want more inches on that beer belly!

So a diet for you a nice healthy start,

no smoking, no drinking its good for your heart.

Only joking my dearest, you do as you please,

get up you look silly down there on your knees!!!

Happy birthday my sweety, you are sixty today,

from someone much younger, I hear myself say -

Don't overdo it, at your age you must learn,

you need help, my old fella - try AGE CONCERN!!