Seagulls and snails.

I have two pet hates, that is seagulls and snails.
I hate them and loathe them and nothing else fails,
To get me so angry when snails eat my shoots,
Nothing is left but snail snot and roots!
The seagull he watches with that small beady eye,
Waiting to get me from way up in the sky.
Waits till my washing is dry and so clean.
Then splatt down it comes - you know what I mean!
I am sorry, I know, that their Gods creatures and all.
I am meant to be kind to such things that are small.
But, come 4 am when that squawking begins,
I honestly feel like throttling the damn things!
I've tried slug pellets and beer, even petroleum jelly,
But nothing quite gets them like the boot of my welly!!
Give me sweet, tiny puppies with cute fluffy tails,
Not greedy white gulls or horrid brown snails!!!!!!!